James Rachal.

Hi James. You're probably sick and tired of me but I really want to apologize. I know I've done it a lot, but I think I changed into a better person today. At our training we saw this video of Les Brown. He is the most amazing motivational speaker I have ever heard. I feel like my life has changed forever from watching him speak. He has motivated me and inspired me so much. Anyway, I want to say I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I haven't been myself lately and it's because I was so negative. All I did was complain and blame others. I didn't use that energy to try to fix my problems and do something about it. I lost focus and I forgot what I was living for. I didn't feel like I was worthy of anything and I had this insane self destructive behavior. I didn't realize the greatness in me and all the things that give my life a sense of value.

I deserve the best things in life and so should you. That's why I want to better myself. I want to be better for us. I want to change my attitude and be happy. I want to be positive all the time. I don't want to be this way anymore. I haven't been reaching my goals lately and I'm practically committing spiritual suicide. Maybe that's why I've been feeling so dead. Life is too short and I can't be living it like this anymore. Especially because we're suppose to be living the rest of our lives together. I know you don't want to be with a negative person forever.

You really are one of the main reasons why I live. You give me purpose. I've been so selfish lately that I forgot about your happiness. I'm really sorry. I wish I focused on you more. I'm making a committment to be happy and by me doing that, I'm pretty sure you'll be happy too. I'm sorry I fail as a girlfriend and future wife. I'm really trying. I do want you to be happy and I really want us to work. We're hella meant for each other I know it!

I want to get rid of all the intoxicating people and energy drainers in my life. I need to challenge myself and change my life. I need to say yes to my life, dreams, potential, and unfolding future. I need to look at what I could become so I can be the person that I should be. I want to be perfect for you. 

I love you so much James. I really do appreciate you. Thank you for understanding me after all this time and dealing with everything. You have so much patience. That's what I need. Thanks for everything. I loving love you. I have this great feeling that we are meant for each other, but I think we just can't be together right now. I have so much to work on. I don't know if you'll wait for me but I'll do everything I can so we can be together. Next time we're together, we're going to be so happy and we'll never fight like this. I'll have enough money to provide for our future family. Money will never be an issue. I know you don't like me spending money, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to make this work. I promise. I've said it a million times I know, but you didn't see what I saw and how it changed me.

I'm not sure how you'll react to this. I'm not going to be surprised if you don't give me another chance. I understand. I just hope you have hope in us. I love you. If you're going to respond to this, please don't send me anything negative. Just keep it to yourself. But I guess if it's positive then send away!

I looooove you James! This will work I promise. ;)