I seriously can't sleep.

I was laying in bed for a freaking hour! What the fuck is that?! I'm serious! I think I have developed some sleeping problems because I just can't sleep anymore! I'm not even tired. Wtf shit. This pisses me off. I'm one of those people who believe in beauty sleep and I'm gonna look like shit tomorrow! -__- But I think maybe one of the reasons is that I have a lot on my mind. So let's blog about it! :D

I've been really irritable today and I'm not even on my period. So, here's the wonderful list of the things that really annoyed me:

1. I'm telling my friend about something really serious and he fucking "hahaha"s me. >:[ Now that really pisses me off because he's not taking me seriously. I'm so fucking sick of people who can't take me SERIOUSLY! It kills me. It makes me want to fucking shoot them. Especially when I'm like upset or sad, you know. Like, I really needed someone to talk to. I needed someone to listen. I don't want them to be laughing. Shit. Shit pisses me off.

2. EXBOYFRIENDS. Fuck them. We're not even together and he's still giving me some damn problems. I'm not even talking about Jeff. I'm talking about Donn. -__- Like seriously, I thought everything was cool between us and we were friends and what not. A while back I asked him if he could silkscreen Step's sweaters before our competition this Friday and he agreed. I gave that fool the designs and everything. I put in some goddamn trust. He fucking ignores me and doesn't call me back and what not. Oh man and I just KNOW that he didn't get those sweaters done AT ALL. Bitchassfuckingshit. You have no idea how mad I am. He has no reaosn to do this shit to me. We have fucking comp this weekend and we need to wear SOMETHING. Yeah, so I'm pissed because I fucking trusted that bitch and I'm really mad at myself for that. Also, I let my team down. I told them I could get them done. I told them I knew someone. I let them down and that is what hurts the most. I'm like trying to pick up all the pieces right now and try to get some sweaters made. That's why I didn't go to school today. I needed my dad to take me to Fan Mart and the only time was in the morning. :[

3. Those crazy, insane, overprotective, moms that SNOOP. I was watching the Tyra Show this morning and there were these moms that snooped like no other. Oh gee. Let me tell you. There was this one mom who hella interrogates her daughter's dates! Like, she writes down his license number, license plate, type of car, etc. She takes notes like on paper about his appearance. Piercings, tattoos. Dude, she even looks up the guy on the internet to make sure he's like safe or whatever. Then, when she gets home she hella makes her daughter strip down and she hella checks her body for like marks like hickies and bruises. EVEN SMELLS HER. Wtf. Damn, I'd kill myself if my mom was like that. Omg and there was this one mom who hella like snooped. She would go through her daughters' rooms and check EVERYTHING. Including the trash and their diaries! It's so sad. :[ Talk about invasion of privacy. Like her daughter had a special knot on her diary and there was a certain way to tie it and her mom hella found a way to do it and she would make that knot so it would look like she never opened it. So sad!!!! I'm glad my mom isn't as crazy. They weren't even asian moms either! Cuurrazzy stuff man. That hella annoys me though. You've gotta trust your kids. Oh yeah. While I was watching the show, I was thinking about how interesting it would be if my mom and I were on Tyra. HAHAHA. Omg, that would be something to see. There would be like hella drama and bullshit coming out of my mom's mouth. I would probably end up crying like a baby or like get into a catfight with my mom. HAHAHA. Omg, I'm so funny. x]

4. Friends that blow me off for something like weed. Today was the first incident. Honestly, I'm not totally sure if he was but I'm like 90% sure. I really needed his help with something. I needed to buy sweaters still for Step and no one could drive me. He said he would, but yeah... :/ I got my auntie to take me so I'm not too mad. But if you're reading this and you weren't smoking, please let me know. <3

5. Racists! Especially if they're my FAMILY. Omg, it's such a shame. It's so embarassing. I got my auntie to take me to Fan Mart and omg she was so mad. She was complaining about the traffic and all the black people. She wasn't talking shit this time. Thank God or I woulda slapped a bitch. I was already in a bad mood. I was already like yelling at her. I like how I can talk back to her because she doesn't do anything. Not like my mom. She's fucking scary. /)_x But anyway, I think it's so weird how like she doesn't like black people! Same with my mom and like all the aunties and uncles. >_> When we use to all live in the same area, we hella lived in the ghetto. We were the only asians on the block. I grew up there and it was hard. I couldn't have my friends over because they were black. Some days, I couldn't even go outside to go play with them 'cause they were black. When we celebrated birthdays, they couldn't come because they were black. :[ There all these dumb ass reasons. They always told me, "They're black. They're not good people." I'm glad I didn't grow up being all racist. It's hella dumb. I think that's why my family bugs me about my skin color. I know I'm not black, but I'm really dark. o_o It really bothers me. It's like they can't accept me because of my skin color. I'm not white like them. Oh gosh, they always give me whitening soaps like Papaya and Bloc&White. It's ridiculous. Leave me the fuck alone.

6. The Secret Life of the American Teenager. This show sucks ass. Bad actors, bad story, bad, bad, bad. I don't even know why Jorge and I continue to watch it! I guess it's just one of those things where it sucks so bad but you just keep watching it. Hahaha idk. But basically it's about this one girl who gets pregnant with this one boy at band camp. It was like a one night stand. Didn't even last long. They ended up not talking or going out or anything. I guess that one girl starts going out with another guy and she eventually finds out that she's pregnant. The guy that she's with is like in love with her and like they get married or some shit. Idk. It's bullshit. If I could rewrite the story I would make the girl a little slutty. She is too nice! Too good to be having a one night stand with this crazy bad boy. It's just not realistic. Also, I wouldn't make her stupid boyfriend so in love with her. It's stupid. They haven't even talked long enough. Dumb shit. He even asked her to marry him. Wtf!! They're like fifteen. Shit. He thinks he's in love. Dumbass. Hahaha wow look how mad I am at this show. x_x Oh and I wouldn't make that one mexican girl so in love with sex or even try to have sex with her step brother! I know they're not blood related but gross!

Hm, I think that's it to my list that hella irritated me today. I don't feel sleepy at all. I do feel really worried though. I hate feeling this way. I'm worrying about Step's sweaters. We got the silk screen printing down, but I need to buy the sweaters themselves. I only have three mediums. Eight more smalls to go. :[ I'm not even going to school tomorrow so I can keep searching for sweaters, but also I'm going to hit up Denny's a few times for some FREE GRAND SLAMS! <3<3<3. The best food is free. :] Hm, but I think that is the only thing I'm worrying about right now. I'm not too worried about the performance. I got it down and everything. We all just need to practice. It's also the beginning of the semester and I'm going to be missing two days! Hahaha, I'm not toooo worried. I'm kind of sad though. I promised that I would do better in school and everything, but I let all this bad stuff happen. I felt like shit earlier. I hella fucked up and let my team down. It's like the worst feeling. :[ I also didn't go to work. I didn't just not go. I was still out looking for sweaters and I knew I couldn't make it in time to get back home and get ready. :[ This is a really important time too and I'm just not there. Hopefully, I can go tomorrow if nothing comes up.

I really, really should sleep. Let's try this again. Goodnight.